Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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