don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
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