And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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