I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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