i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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