i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
