on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
