There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i will never coherently bang her
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
