Its about making memories worth repressing
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
