Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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