so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
