IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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