i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize