The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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