Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
