I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize