so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
