if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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