I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
