I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
