Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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