I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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