I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
