i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
