Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize