Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
