PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
