She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
