O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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