Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
