(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
