i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
