My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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