At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
