You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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