I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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