how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
