Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
