i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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