Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
