this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize