I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
