he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I will be naked everywhere
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
