I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
