the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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