did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
