Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
