Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
