I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
