i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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