Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
