just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
