First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Who died my cat blue again?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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