Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
