you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
