i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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