My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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