He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
