paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
