note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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