Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
