i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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