clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's always time for handjobs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
