have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
