Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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