so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
