Who wears a wallet chain?!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize