Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
