good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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