I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
