Barsexuality is the new black.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
