Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
