Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
