I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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