WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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